Parents who have more than one child may want or need their children to share a room at one point or another. Not every family has the luxury of extra bedrooms, and with working from home lasting longer and longer, a lot of families are needing to convert bedroom space into office space. If you are thinking about having siblings sleep in the same room, here are some things to consider to help ensure they can sleep well.
How is Everyone Sleeping?
When considering having siblings sharing a room, it’s important to observe how they are currently sleeping. If both children are sleeping well, can fall asleep independently, and do not have issues with waking up at night, moving children together should not pose much of a problem. But, if one or more of the children is not sleeping well, you would want to address their sleep issues individually first. Many parents skip this step and assume that moving children together will magically solve the sleep problems. This rarely works and can often make problems worse.
Sleep Train Individually Before the Move-in Date
Let’s say you have a 9 month old and a 3 year old and both children are not sleeping well. It would be better to sleep train your infant first and then address the sleep issues with your toddler. Then you could move both siblings together. Sleep training a toddler can take longer than it would to sleep train a baby, so you wouldn’t want to move the baby into the toddler’s space until they are falling asleep more easily and staying asleep.
Sleep training a toddler would also include transitioning them to a bed. If your child is currently in a crib and it’s time to make the move to a bed, make the transition before an extra person is in the room. Give things at least a few weeks to be successful before adding in another change of a sibling in a room.
Set Expectations and Sleep Rules
A baby who is moving in with a toddler is not going to be able to follow any sleep rules, but it’s important for the toddler to know what to expect.What should the toddler do if she hears her sister wake up in the middle of the night? Make sure she knows not to “help” the baby as some toddlers will try to climb into the crib to soothe them. Parents will also want to set up rules for waking up in the morning. Toddlers may use a wake up light to know when it’s time to quietly get out of bed and this would need to be modeled.
If you have two toddlers sharing a room, having a family meeting with everyone can be really effective. Reviewing sleep rules and expectations allow both kids know what is expected.
Expect Some Bumps in the Road
There is bound to be some push back or some regressions with any change. If you have set things up with clear expectations, follow-through and consistency is super important. Are your kids being silly and taking a long time to fall asleep? Is it important that you jump in and make it stop, or is giving them some space going to allow things to calm down faster? How you respond may depend on the situation (we always respond when safety is at risk, but we may not respond if it’s just talking). If you are seeing patterns in behavior that are beginning to compromise your children’s sleep, then it may be time to have another discussion or implement some changes.
Make Sure Sleep Needs Continue to Be Met
Children of different ages have different sleep needs. If you are having a baby and a toddler share a room, chances are they will both need a nap. It may be more difficult for siblings to share a room at naptime, so if this isn’t working, you may need a different space for one child (this can be a last resort). Younger babies may also need an earlier bedtime. In this case, it may be appropriate to put your baby down for sleep and complete your toddler’s bedtime routine in a different room. These routines may need to be adjusted as sleep needs change.
The Takeaway?
Siblings can share a room and continue to sleep well, but the foundations of healthy sleep need to be in place for this to happen. It requires preparation ahead of time, communication, and reasonable expectations. As long as the needs of each child are being met, this arrangement can work beautifully for many years of healthy and happy sleep!