We moved my daughter to a big-kid bed this summer. She turned three in May. We were lucky that she’s relatively small, so she couldn’t ever follow through on any attempt to climb out if she desired. I honestly think she would have happily slept there indefinitely, but since she started asking about sleeping in a big girl bed, and since we were going to be doing some traveling that required she sleep in a bed, we decided to make the move beforehand.
Even though my daughter is a terrific sleeper, we wanted to make sure she had as smooth a transition as possible. That is why I created a Sleep Rules Chart for her to follow. I used simple language and drew pictures (or attempted to draw pictures) to go along with each rule. Before I wrote down the rules I talked with her about what we do when we go to sleep. She thought about this very carefully and gave me a few responses, such as “I lay down, I close my eyes, I hug my lovey and I wake up in the morning.” We used these as the basis of our chart and then I asked her a few things about sleeping in a bed. I asked her if we get up and walk around our room at bedtime. She said, “No!!!…” (she actually looked at me as if I had ten heads). I asked her what she should do when she woke up in the morning. She told me, with an exasperated voice, “Well, you stay in bed if it’s still dark and you wake up when it’s time to wake up. “
So, here is what is on our chart.
1. I lay down.
2. I close my eyes.
3. I go to sleep.
4. I stay in bed.
5. I wait in the morning until Mommy or Daddy come and get me.
I also drew a few simple (aka, my art abilities are somewhat limited) pictures to represent each rule since she cannot read. My daughter then decorated the chart with her favorite stickers and we put it in her room. She decided she didn’t want to hang up the chart because she wanted me to hold it for her while I was tucking her in at night. So, in addition to reading our books, singing a song and telling a quick story, we also read our sleep rules before she goes to bed.
How is it going now? Well, there have been a few nights where I have forgotten about going over her chart and she has emphatically called me on it. Even though she has them memorized, she still enjoys this part of her routine. She’s even gone so far as to make the babysitter go over the sleep rules with her!
Now, some of you may be thinking, “Well, this kid must just be a super rule follower!” or “Of course, she’s the sleep consultant’s daughter, she has to like this stuff.” I’m here to tell you that a) she is a typical three year old girl who picks and chooses when to listen to me during the day and b) this only works for the sleep consultant’s daughter because I am consistent as a parent. Any parent can use this simple technique at bedtime to help enforce rules. When your child follows these rules, you may reward them as you see fit. Simple is best for these things– lots of praise in the morning and a sticker on a reward chart followed by a small prize after receiving a planned amount of stickers works great for many families. Whatever you do, make it a positive experience for you and your child. It makes all the difference in the world when making transitions in your child’s life.